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Ms.
Moe's webpage has
moved to blog(s)
[click
to be whisked away to cyber-space]:
8th
English: http://moeblog8.wordpress.com/
9th
English: http://moeblog9.wordpress.com/
9th
English Honors: http://moeblog9honors.wordpress.com/
SURVIVOR: School Classroom
Island
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?
Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in a school
classroom for 6 weeks. They will be assigned 2 weeks to an elementary
school, 2 weeks to a middle school, and 2 weeks to a high school. Each
business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's
curriculum, and a class of 28-32 students. If they are assigned a "Productivity
school," class sizes might reach 40. Each class will have seven
learning-disabled children, four with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two
who speak limited English. Three will be labeled with severe behavior
problems. Each business person must complete differentiated lesson plans
at least 3 days in advance with annotations for curriculum objectives
and modify, organize, or create materials accordingly. One business person
will be assigned by lot to be an English teacher and they will have an
additional 10-15 hours per week of grading papers to complete. The
business people will be required to teach students, handle misconduct,
implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework,
make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document
benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences.
They must also, at all times be ready to supervise any "unsupervised"
students and monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete fire
drills, tornado drills, and intruder drills for shooting attacks. They
must attend workshops, donate 24 hours of professional development to
the district, attend faculty meetings, union meetings, and attend curriculum
development meetings. They must also tutor those students who are behind
and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough
to take the standardized test and meet satisfactory goals of the No Child
Left Behind Act. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let
it show. Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science,
and social studies into all areas of study. They must maintain discipline
and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times and
for all students. The business people will only have access to the golf
course on the weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able
to afford it anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take
them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 25 minutes. The business
people will be permitted to use the staff restroom during their planning
period (if they have one), and if they need the bathroom any other time,
they may go as long as another survival candidate is supervising their
class. Some, but not all candidates will be provided with one 40-minute
planning period each day while their students are at special areas. If
the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at
this time. They cannot surpass their daily limit. The business people
must continually advance their education on their own time and with their
own money. And if they have more than three family members back home,
they may have to take a second job to provide sufficient income to support
them.
The winner will be allowed to come back and do it again next year.
Yes, this is a joke.
But the classroom situations and teacher requirements are closer to the
truth than you might think. A joke -- with a poke.
So please pardon
me if my grading takes a while.
--Ms. M
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