Jokes

Jokes & Puns (never funny)

& Deep Thot's

Pusey Home
The video clips below can be downloaded onto your computer by clicking on the blue wording. Download at your own risk of laughter, which may result in your being just a little happier today. I hope so.

Happy Hippo

Einstein (talking parrot)

Japanese fountain

Mozart Skater

Pit Rabbit

The Grim Reaper

Simon Says

Kissing Prank

Let it Snow

Green Bean Standoff

State Employee

Holiday Parking

Amazing Biker

Happy New Year

Dirty Windows

David Letterman Top Ten List, Napoleon Dynamite toptenlist napoleon dynamite_1

Napoleon Dynamite / Utah State Fair TV commercials, scroll to Napoleon's Sweet Ads

Incredible Dog

Talking Dogs?

Pool King

Father Guido's Five Minute University

Cough your head off!

Power Surge

Best truck ever?

Try to figure this one out: The Flash Mind Reader

Evolution of Woman vs. Man (ladies love this one)

Visual Puns

Just for Halloween Boo!

Beware October

Do you believe in ghosts? See if you can find where the car goes when it turns the corner. Do You Believe in Ghosts?

Wow, SuperMom!

The power of one... shown on Israeli TV End the Conflict

Running With the Squirrels

Matrix Ping Pong

Japanese Magic Burger

Optical Illusions

Stay in school so you won't have to ever say...
- My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.
- Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I couldn't hack it, and so they gave me the ax.
- After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a so-so job.
- Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
- Then, I tried to be a chef. I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
- I attempted to be a deli worker, but, any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
- My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't note worthy.
- I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
- Next was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
- Became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
- I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
- So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
- After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
- My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
Cowboy Wisdom
- Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
- Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
- Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
- Keep skunks at a distance.
- Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
- A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
- Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
- Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
- Meanness don't happen overnight.
- To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
- Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.
- Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
- Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
- Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
- Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.
- Don't corner something meaner than you.
- You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar--assuming you want to catch flies.
- Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
- It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
- Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
- You can't unsay a cruel thing.
- Every path has some puddles.
- Don't wrestle with pigs: You'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it.
- The best sermons are lived, not preached.
- Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.